Sunday, 22 April 2018

DJ Matari >> Greatness



Greatness is living on the inside of you, claims DJ Matari.  However, his actions don't mirror his words, as he was arrested earlier this month for stealing the Oscar trophy from American actress Frances McDormand. "Are sick beats supposed to make me feel physically sick like this?" writes AlbinoWino11.

Play Song

Sunday, 15 April 2018

William Verkler >> ExtermiNation



"Instrumentals with Sound Effects", and "POPULATION CONTROL: Not the Sort of CHANGE I Expected" adorn the cover of this album of synth... music?  Lots more albums from this artist to check out, all equally awful.

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Sunday, 8 April 2018

The Mike Korzak Band >> Uncle Beanies Band



I imagine the recording of this album went a little like this: "OK, we're recording? Yeah? Great. Can you turn it up? A bit more? A bit more? All the way up. Now boost it a little more. Yeah that's good. Perfect.  Now, start the drum machine."

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I love the fact that every album this artist has uses the same cover photo.

Sunday, 1 April 2018

Nooshi >> The Complete Easter Party Album



Happy Easter! Here's a special album that celebrates everything that is sacred about this holiday. Some of the songs seem strangely familiar, such as "Twelve Days of Easter" and "Deck the Eggs". You like songs sung in high pitch, right? Of course you do.

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Sunday, 25 March 2018

The Strange Man Who Sings About Dead Animals >> Very Sad Songs About Very Dead Animals



Hey, I know you!  You're that guy from a few weeks ago, Papa Razzi and the Photogs!  You can't fool me!  Just how many names do you go by?  How does this guy find enough time to record all these songs?

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Turns out his name is Matt Farley, he goes by over 70 aliases, and has released more than 19,000 songs.

Sunday, 18 March 2018

BrexitAnthem >> We Want Our Country Back



A follow-up to last week's topic, the singer of this cringeworthy song is under the delusion that the vote to leave the EU will make the UK a better place. "We want our freedom back, with accountable leaders who know and care". Well, couldn't agree more with that one, but that's got nothing to do with the EU.

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Sunday, 11 March 2018

L.G. Boreland >> Brexit Brexit You're Not So Cherio



This hard-hitting opinion piece on the separation of the United Kingdom from the European Union goes into great depth regarding the political and economic implications of such a huge decision.  No, not really.  Did you expect anything less from this blog?

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Sunday, 4 March 2018

Papa Razzi and the Photogs >> Papa Razzi Gets Introspective, Shares His Worldview, and Offers Advice



Piano improv, it's a thing that people do, and this guy does it a lot. He records album after album of himself singing about random things such as celebrities, politicians, things that famous people say or do, authors, comedians, movie directors, fictional characters, and lots lots (lots) more.  It was hard to choose just one, but I did.

Play album

Sunday, 25 February 2018

Chief Kooffreh >> The Cries Of 100 Million Americans



Dear readers. Today I bring you a special treat. An artist I have discovered that you are going to become very familiar with, because he's an absolute treasure-trove of trash.  Enjoy.

Play album

Every single album this guy has released is amazing.

Sunday, 18 February 2018

SNCKPCK >> DOG HEAVEN



Is it cheating to use albums that are intentionally bad?  At least, I hope it's intentionally bad, because otherwise this guy would be seriously delusional.  Bonus points for that photoshop work.

Play album

As I write, this artist has 11 albums on Spotify, all equally cringeworthy. Check them out.

Sunday, 11 February 2018

Vennu Mallesh >> I Love U Dear



Valentine's Day, the most romantic day of the entire year.  Let the soothing vocals of our old friend Vennu Mallesh take you away to a land of fantasy and pleasure, where he will serenade you night and day and show you his love.

Play Track


Sunday, 4 February 2018

Hot Dad >> Are President



Sometimes an album is bad not because the artist is a bad singer, or because the music is poorly produced, but simply because of the content of the songs.  This guy obviously has talent, but who would actually listen to this album for pleasure?

Play album

Check out his other albums, including "TV", 101 tracks singing about different TV shows.

Sunday, 28 January 2018

One Dolla Timbo >> No Comment



"I'm not a stalker", insists this kid.  Presumably that's because his mother wants him home for dinnertime and he has homework to do in the evening, and school keeps him busy during the day.

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Sunday, 21 January 2018

Drew Fitzgerald >> Iconic



I've struck a goldmine of terrible music by simply searching for songs titled 'fidget spinner', and this album is no exception.  Amazingly her singing is so bad that the autotune can't save it.

Play album

Sunday, 14 January 2018

DrinkOJ >> OJ3



The highlight of this album, if you can call it a highlight, is the fourth track, "Fidget Spinner".  However, Spotify says this album was released in the year 2000, so perhaps the artist is some sort of time traveller?

Play album

Sunday, 7 January 2018

The Shaggs >> Philosophy of The World



This album dates from 1968, and perhaps might be best experienced while under the influence of drugs.  I suggest a strong anaesthetic.  Wikipedia says these girls' father forced them into becoming a band, I can only hope he has been severely punished for this crime.

Play album

Sunday, 31 December 2017

Vennu Mallesh >> Wish U Enjoy New Year



Happy New Year!  If I set the chronotron on my time machine correctly, this post should be arriving on New Year's Day, 2018.  Here's a track from Vennu Mallesh, and he wants to Wish U Enjoy New Year.  Please do the needful.

Play Track

Monday, 25 December 2017

Crudbump >> Fuck You If You Don't Like Christmas



A bonus song, aren't you lucky? Like an extra Christmas present from a relative you don't see very often and had given up hope of actually getting a gift from, but then they turn up unexpectedly, and you haven't got them anything but they got you something. Now you just feel awkward.

Play track

Sunday, 17 December 2017

M.I.K.3 >> Gun Life



I'm not sure if this is rap or hip hop, but it doesn't really matter how you classify it because either way it's still awful.  I assume the album art was created by taking a photo of the reaction by the first person who was forced to listen to this album.

Play album

Sunday, 10 December 2017

Three Beat Slide >> Skip Skip Slide


I'll let these Reddit reviews speak for themselves:

"Some say that that saxophone solo at 1:15 is the closest thing there is to hell for any living being." - Connaugh

"That's, wow, I mean, just, wow. I don't even know what to say." - netmier

Play Track

Sunday, 3 December 2017

Preteens >> In Style



Covering such essential modern topics such as fidget spinners, hoverboards, getting a girl's digits, and meeting girls online, this album is surely to become a modern classic of this century.  Right?

Play Album

Sunday, 26 November 2017

D4NNY - Goodbye



Is this song some kind of suicide note?  If so, is it bad that by the end of the song I really wanted him to do it?  Goodbye, D4NNY.

Play Track

But wait, there's more! More tracks, that is. Check them out.

Sunday, 19 November 2017

Corey Feldman >> Former Child Actor



Corey has released several horrific albums, but I picked this one for the blog because of the title.  He doesn't want you to forget he's a former child actor. Almost like he's defining his entire identity around that fact. Star of this album is a butchering of John Lennon's "Imagine".  Awful.

Play Album

Sunday, 12 November 2017

Barbie Doll >> I'm A Doll




How many words can you think that rhyme with 'doll'?  Alison Richardson, stage name Barbie Doll, uses most of them in this song.  She was described as "the Rebecca Black of Oklahoma" by thelostogle.com, a fitting description I feel.

Play Track